Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Nope...Not That Word...I wouldn't say THAT word

 The second it left my mouth I regretted it.  I desperately wished I could take it back, and then I felt him standing behind me and my stomach sank all the way to my feet.  He didn't make any sudden movements or sound angry or even speak above a whisper.  Just gently told me to get my gag and my leather belt and go wait for him at the abandoned house.   Then he turned me around looked in my eyes, gently kissed me and told me he loved me. 

My knees and hands shook visibly and I felt vaguely nauseaus but I did as I was told.  I had literally asked for this.  My stupid ass had gone to him and directly asked him to help me to never say that word at the lodge again.  Famous last words, it seemed like a good idea at the time.  Those beautiful girls were absolutely worth what I was about to go through.  They better grow up to save the (not going to use that word) world.  

It was a much shorter wait than I anticipated, or more likely, than I hoped.  As he approached I stood and faced him.  I had already taken off my belt and I handed it to him with a shaky hand.  This was not going to be fun.  He put my gag in, took down my jeans and kissed my forhead.  Reminding me one more time how much he loved me, he bade me to hold on tight.  I found myself bent over and held firmly in his grasp so I couldn't get away.  

He took that leather belt to my ass harder and faster than ever before and repeated over and over again, as he whipped me visciously, "You will never say that word in the lodge again!"  I begged, apologized, screamed, cried and tried to pry my body out of his hold.  It felt like he was stripping the skin from my ass.  I found out later that he literally was stripping layers of my skin off with that leather.  

It was only about five minutes but I literally thought I was going to die he beat me so hard.  He had stopped but hadn't let me go or stood me up.  I did not have the presence of mind to wonder why.  Probably a good thing I did not know what was coming, because it was about to get worse.  I would not have thought it possible. 

He told me in a quiet, calm voice that he took this very seriously and he was going to make sure it didn't happen again.  I was informed that there was a serious paddle in my future that night, which nearly stopped my heart, but for now he was going to whip the back of my thighs as emphasis that I was never to say that word in the lodge again. He was as good as his words.  I didn't know that it was possible to feel that much pain and not pass out.  That leather whipped my thighs so hard for that minute or two that my memory is even blurry with pain.  It was mercifully short, but he had to literally hold me up on my feet for a few minutes afterwards while I remembered how to breath. He kissed my forehead and asked me earnestly to never do something that made it necessary for him to do that again.  Reminding me not to come to the lodge until I was composed he made sure I knew that he could and would make it worse if it happened again.

I have had an insane amount of bad habits.  I suck at giving up those habits.  I have still never been able to quit smoking and occasionally I find myself chewing my nails.  I promise you with everything that I am that I will never say Fuck in that lodge again.  I may never even be able to utter the word outloud again.  I have never been in that kind of pain, and it lasted for weeks.  I have also never been this grateful.  I know it cost him to whip me like that, and then cost him even more to paddle me that night.  The paddling wasn't as severe but paddle me he did, and not lightly.  I have the best man in the world.  His love for me and those little girls allowed him to give me the help I needed in a way that I could understand and remember.

Thank you for being just fabulous you baby!!!!

Rose;)

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