As I sit trying to concentrate my eyes begin to shut all by themselves. Before I can shake my self awake I am falling into a dream long from the reality I was navigating a moment before. As my dream begins to focus I see you walking into the camper. You have an odd look on your face. It isn't anger or frustration but it is very serious. You kneel in front of my chair kissing my mouth and stroking my face. As I begin to speak you put your finger on my lips to silence me and your eyes go from tender to serious again. You tell me to go straight to the bed take off my clothes, get on all fours and wait silently. A million questions assault my mind and I almost open my mouth, but something in your eyes tells me to trust you and our dynamic. I do exactly as told and it feels like a lifetime that I wait naked on the bed, but I never break position.
Finally I hear you behind me and then I hear the sound of a cane cutting through the air. My breath catches in my throat and all the questions dissappear as my body braces for the pain. All you say is please do not move. I know without a doubt that this is going to be extremely hard to take. The first stroke comes. The pain is so intense that every inch of my body screams. It takes all my willpower to stay in my position as I whimper and gasp. As the next ten swats fall they actually get harder. I just barely manage to stay as still as possible while I cry and yell with the increasing pain. As stroke ten falls I cannot hold on any longer and I fall to the bed and curl up in a ball crying and gasping.
You immediately wrap your arms around and while you caress and comfort me you tell me how proud you are of me. When I am all cried out you tell me to come to the living room and we will talk. You want to explain what you have been thinking and feeling, and that you have made a decision.
You hold me on the couch and we talk for two hours. I genuinely sit and listen to you explaining where your mind has been and what you decided. You tell about your concerns and doubts about this dynamic I want in our lives. You even tell me about your concerns that I genuinely want this as much as I say that I do. In the end you say that you decided that the only way to proceed was to try it out all in and see what happens. You wanted to know if I was truly ready to trust you to make decisions and if I would follow instructions without question. While praising me for my willingness to trust our communication would still exist and blindly following instruction would be the exception and not the norm. You tell that the only way for you to know for sure if I was ready for that was to try it out.
Again you praise me for the beautiful way I handled myself and thank me for my trust in you. I tell you that I love you with all my heart and I am so thankful to have you, and that you trusted me enough to go all in for me. I start to reach for you and you stop me the same serious look on your face as you had when you walked in.
The butterflies in my stomach begin to flutter around nervously and I am pretty sure that there is more intense pain to come. You eplain that we are going to begin as we intend to continue and set this thing off on the right foot. There is going to be a whole night of talking and physical challenges. There will be bondage, impact play, clamping, instructions to follow to the letter and none of it will be easy. You ask me to think and tell you honestly if I want to go on this journey with you. My heart and mind are screaming yes but I pause and think of what this will entail. I decide I trust you completely and this is absolutely what I want. You take my hand, kiss me gently, and hold me close. I feel all the love in the world surrond me and I am both terrified and perfectly at peace as you lead me to the first challenge...
To Be Continued
Rose🌹
