Don't Drink and Email

The moral of the story is: Don't Drink and Email.  I know, I know the moral is supposed to come at the end of the story, but this story is far from over and I already learned the moral.  I feel it is my duty to pass this along to anyone out there who might be listening.  Mostly I need to write it down so that I never, never, NEVER forget it again.

This is the email I sent Vincent after four beers last night.

I know you have been out of town.  I know you are out of chew.  I know it can be difficult dealing with the kids alone for days.  I know you are probably tired.  I know that the last thing you want to deal with is spanking me.  I know all this and yet I need you to step up.  I need you to punish me.  I need you to do it thoroughly.  I need you to not just use Z.  I need you to take the time to warm me up and then do a nice long spanking no matter how much I beg.  I need you to put me in the corner with my spanked bottom on display.  I need you to call me back to the bed and give me more even though I know that I cannot take any more.  I need you to lecture me about behaving myself; not smoking in the house and not going off on you even when you aren't there.  I need to hurt every time I try to move for the next few days.  I need you to continue to spank me with corner time and lecture when I mouth off or disobey even if my backside is already sore from what I get on Sunday. I need the immediate reaction like you sometime give me taking me to the bedroom, closing the door, and spanking me soundly even when the kids are awake if I get out of line.  I need you to spank even when you are tired and have had a rotten day at work.  I know I need too much, but if you want me in your life, a life without fighting and with me being your good girl and wanting you every minute of the day, then this is what I need.  Sometimes I wish I wasn't this person but I am.  You have apparently decided to live your life with me even if it is just because I am all you can get.  Even if it is just because I am convenient this is what I need.  I need to be able to say that I love you.  I know you don’t feel it and I don’t want you to say it, but I need to say it.  No matter if all this is true I need you to put forth this effort so that I know that you care enough to make this work.  Even if I am a little drunk and that is the only reason that I am being this honest this is what I need.  If you choose to give me what I need I will know this by your actions on Sunday and I will be your good girl and submit completely.  I can give you what you want and need but the time has come for you to give me what I need.  You don’t have to marry me but you do need to commit to me and what I need.   I am not sure that I have the guts to send this but if I do then I am asking, please, make this relationship work and give me what I need.

Now there are two ways that I can see this playing out.  The best possible thing would be that Sunday night I get the spanking of a lifetime and I learn several lessons at once.  The worst is that he does nothing and pretends like I never even sent it.

Now some people would think that getting the spanking of a lifetime does not sound like a good outcome, but for us it would be awesome.  It would mean that we are going to make it, together.  If he does nothing then he doesn't care and we have no chance and this is something I don't even want to consider.

It is going to be a long day.

;p