Friday, March 7, 2014

Not So Spanko??

I have posted in previous blogs that I am a self proclaimed spanko.  This has been a very true fact.  I have enjoyed playful and sexy spankings on many occasions and Vincent seems to like them as well.


Something seems to have shifted.  I have now experienced enough punishment spankings, and Vincent has gotten good enough at them, that I now find myself shying away from spanking.  It is like something has shifted in my brain.

Okay let me see if I can interpret the insanity in my head and put it into words.

Before punishment spanking.
Smacks on my butt turn me on and have me wanting more.  Always hot action when this is included.

After punishment spanking.
Spanking hurts a lot.  I do NOT want to do anything that will get me spanked.  I certainly don't want to associate it with something pleasurable.

Now, I should add that the after affects of him taking control and enforcing his authority are often hot sex.  This is not because I have enjoyed the punishment but that I feel so loved and cared for and he feels so manly.

Like I said before Vincent always seemed to enjoy the sexy spankings as well.  He has told me several times now that he does not like to punish me and is always thinking about making sure that he does no serious damage.  He says that I should hurt or it isn't punishment but I shouldn't be damaged or that is abuse.  He also seems to have no interest in the sexy spankings any more either.

I asked him about it and he said that his thinking seemed to have shifted and now spanking is serious and not a sexy game.  He says that there needs to be a separation so that punishment is taken seriously and it is not a game.

I was expecting a million things about our dynamic and life to change.  I was not expecting this.  Here is the really weird part.  Brace yourself...

I am really happy with the shift.  I think what I was really always looking for and not really getting was for him to assert his authority.  He is really doing this now and it isn't something we are just playing at, or something that is only part of sex.  His authority and my submission are how we live our lives now and I am much happier with this than I ever was with the sex play.

Who knew...I am not a sexual deviant.  Just a woman who needs to be a woman and have a real man in her life.  



  1. Hello

    Just stopping by to let you know I was here. What name did you want to be referred to on your blog?

    As for the authority, I can relate. I find an authoritative man very sexy. Nothing makes me melt quicker than hearing a stern word from my man. :)


    1. Hey Sara

      Thank you for taking the time and sending others by to give me some input. It has all been really helpful.

      For blog purposes I think that Rose would be best. There is always the chance that Vincent will take a look at the blog and he has a thing about anonymity(sp). Thanks for asking first. ;)

  2. Yeah, I can totally relate to the needing the authority. It's so great to learn we are not alone, and not so weird, isn't it? :)

    1. It has been insanely nice to know that I am not alone and that my desire for this isn't weird. Huge relief. ;)

  3. I know what you mean about the authority. Glad things are going so well for you. This is a great blog.

  4. Hello Rose. I'm also! It looks like Vincent is getting the hang of things. It's a process with a lot of back and forth. I think the important thing is to keep the relationship above the DD priority wise. That can be hard to do. We tend to get all "DD DD DD" in our heads and we eat, sleep, breathe DD and get frustrated when they're not in the same place that we are. That's normal. You will be amazed how much will grow even in just six months of this!

    1. I have noticed that I am all about the constant DD and he is just living life with him having more control and authority. Maybe I am more obsessive or maybe more detail oriented, but his way is working fine for him. We are both growing every day in this. Now if I find something I want to talk about I think first and decide if it is a real concern or something that I should be patient on. Then I talk to him with my words and don't try to make him read things. This is working much better. ;)

  5. Welcome to our little place in blogland. I look forward to getting to know you.

  6. Thanks for the welcome. It kind of feels like coming home having this place. I am so glad to be getting to know all of you. ;)